You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
