Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
What a dumb baby whore.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I fill condoms, not promises.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
