brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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