god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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