So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
