Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
last night I used snow as a chaser
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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