You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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