He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He did a backflip because drugs
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
