So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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