Non-Jews are for practice
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
