When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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