There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
