And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
