bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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