mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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