I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
