When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
