Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
