Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
