Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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