But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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