one might say we're banned from that church
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
