You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
