My room smells like vodka and shame
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Floor bacon is actually really good
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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