Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
