Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
this boner is exhausting
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
