Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
