I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
