as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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