he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
