that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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