Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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