Grow some girl-balls and come out already
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
