Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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