weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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