Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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