He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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