This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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