stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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