You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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