I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he shaved USA in his pubs
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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