Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
