My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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