Three words: puerto rican gang bang
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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