Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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