Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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