Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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