I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
