There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
