I can tuck mytits in my pants
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
