I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
