another moral hangover. fuck.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
